Once upon a time, say 20 years ago. When did it all begin? –and I don’t mean the eclipse. I mean when your life turns from being only what you plan and starts to include a dependence on what others think you should or shouldn’t do. Yesterday it was you who was boss, now gradually you find it is others who have a say. Who tells you what you can or can’t do?
Starting anew. In a sense one does that every day. But it’s never really anew. We have changed since yesterday, the world has changed. One can be grateful to be around to start anew.
That new start is always dependent, springs from what one was yesterday.
Wish one could say the same for the world.
I wish I had continued to keep a diary – not of just what was going on in the world or in my active life, but as a way of keeping track of what that inner life was like. Perhaps a typical example, this excerpt brings to mind a young woman who was trying to find meaning in life, something she is still searching for. Most of us continue searching throughout our lives. Some find it in religion, for others it is and always will be an endless search without an answer.
“I feel as if I am waiting – I don’t know for what – for something to happen, that will give life reason – an intensification of emotions. I want to lose myself in a world like the one Chagall painted – where the violinist flies over the houses and a couple comes out of the fireplace. I am waiting for life and must do as Tennessee Williams wrote – ‘What on earth can you do on this earth but catch at whatever comes near you, with both your fingers, until your fingers are broken?”
Erika Bizzarri 
What insightful words! As I move into and through new phases your thoughts give me perspective I might not have articulated. Thank you to the lovely young woman and the wise lady I know. James the Second
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My Dearest Erica,
This is Tom Tiberio, Gonzaga class of 1974/75. SO HAPPY TO BE IN TOUCH WITH YOU…my favorite teacher ever!!! I have been an Art and Antiques Dealer and Appraiser for 40 years and am a working Artist as well. (I specialize in Chinese Antiques.)
I have so many fond memories of staying with you in Orvieto…digging for pottery shards with your boys (how are they?)…freezing in the Cardinal’s bedroom (LOL)…meeting your parents and having the best grapes EVER!!! Your generosity of spirit has inspired me from 1974 til today.
My email is: jadeduck@earthlink.net My phone: 425 681 6247
Much love,
Tom
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Oh my dear friend, we are so alike in our perspectives. It gives me great solace that you exist and that I was given the chance in this life to have your friendship.
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Hi Erika,
You probably know this, but the audio for today’s Second Thoughts…. is the one from 9 April. I enjoyed reading it but much prefer your voice!
xxxCandace
>
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I like the photo Erika! And I’m glad you posted it.
As to your reflections here, well … they are rather sobering. You offer us a master class in how to become philosophical; thank you – I hope to be a good student.
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Erica,
I am really going to miss seeing and talking with you this summer and scratching Tea behind her ears. You are truly an inspiration to all. Keep on writing and doing what you do, Ciao carissima!
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The previous comment was from me, Bob Hannah.
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div>Once aga
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I love the photo which I had never seen before. But to hear your voice sounding so strong as you read this post is a special pleasure. I apologize for being MIA as I try to meet the May 30 deadline for an updated version of my book that will include letters to women of letters. Avanti! Love always to you, my ever-inspirational writing partner.—xxx, Diane 🌷
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